Fish Puns
- You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with a fish pun
- Cod you help me out with some more puns?
- I’d make him walk the plankton for that
- When fish go on diets at least they bring their own scales
- Who will be the sole survivor?
- Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
- This is a big issue a-monk fisherman.
- You can’t tuna guitar so you betta know how to play
- Any fin is possible if you just trout yourself
- I thought of posting more fish puns but decided to just scale back
- Get Oto town
- Some fish just carp on and on
- You’ve met your nemo-sis.
- Don’t listen to them, I think you’re fin-tastic!
- I really believe that to the bottom of my sole
- You Betta believe it
- I like to make fish puns just for the halibut
- You better not, or you’ll feel my wrasse!
- I’ve been herring some great fish puns
- Sometimes dealing with fish is a pain in the bass
- Sorry I was out sick all week. My arm was in a cast
- You’re not quite up to scale
- Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself
- Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna swim around and splash you
- Never trust unlicensed puns – always check they’re o-fish-al
- My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough
- Don’t be koi, tell me you fish puns
- Let’s all just clam down
- What a load of pollocks
- We, the jury, find this site gill-ty of too many fish puns
- Salmon had to say it
- Keep your friends close and your anemones closer
- Some people don’t like fish puns, but they are kraken me up
- Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of carp
- Who wants to cuttle with me?
- Holy Shrimp! This Scampi happening
- Please keep quiet. There is a herring going on
- We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns
- Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else
- Cod that was bad, eely bad
- We’re swimming along nicely
- Can you do any Betta than this?
- What’s this fish pun website you’ve been herring all about?
- The fish had a girlfriend but then the lobster
- Or you’re so sofishticated
- We all just need to clam down now; I’m a bit shell shocked
- Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?
- Anyone else want to step up to the bait?
- Fishcious rumors
- We whaley need to stop now
- Fish motivation. Seize every oppor-tuna-ty
- Hoping to avoid turtle disaster
- This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick
- This is neither the time, nor the plaice for this
- I think you’re fintastic
- No fin is better than swimming with dolphins
- Cod you pass me the salt?
- When fish fly on rockets they go to trouter space
- I’ll bait these puns can’t go on for much longer
- Fish make terrible criminals. They’re always gill-ty
- If you can think of a better pun, let minnow
- That joke was a bit koi
- Seems a bit fishy to me
- I peed in the pool… on porpoise
- Never trust unlicensed fish puns, always check if they’re offishaol
- You have to sea this list of fish puns
- Are you trying to gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?
- You can tuna guitar but you can’t tune a fish
- Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock
- Not bad, cod do better
- Dear Cod, I laughed so hard
- We, the jury, find the defendant guilty of terrible fish puns
- Hoping to avoid turtle disaster
- Ahh guys, you’re krilling me now
- Broadway tried the first all fish show. It was quiet the cast
- Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait is a little worm
- You should know betta
- Life as a fish can be overwhalming
- I’m hooked
- It’s a great oppor-tuna-ty
- I won’t be cod dead participating in this
- DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the bass
- He really schooled you then
- I’m waiting for someone else to mussel in on this now
- This blog has a future, there’s so much porpoise
- All I sea are bass-ically cod awful puns
Fish Jokes
What’s the lowest ranked piece on the seaboard?
The prawn
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Give it ten-tickles
What’s a famous movie from Atlantis?
Codzilla
Why do fish not go to war?
Because they are paci-fish
If a fish got the main role in a movie, what would it be called?
Starfish
Where do fish sleep?
In a water bed
What do you call a fish without an eye?
Fsh
What day do fish hate?
Fryday
How do you catch the cursor fish?
Click bait
Why can’t fish have romantic relationships?
They are scared of intima-sea
What happened when the fish went on stage?
It floundered
What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?
I’m outta this plaice
Why did the shopkeeper throw the clams out?
They were past their shell-by-date
Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools
What did the magician say to the fish?
Pick a cod, any cod
What happens when fish misbehave?
The get schooled
What did the romantic fisherman want?
A gill-friend
How do two fish greet each other?
Long time no sea
How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?
They listen to the current news
What fish travels 100 mph?
A motor pike
What did the clown fish say to the swordfish?
Why the long face
What makes fish terrible journalists?
They always spread hake news
What’s the most valuable fish?
A goldfish
Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
He was lost at C
Where do fish live?
Finland
What did a fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
Dam
Why do fish always lose their court cases?
They are always gill-ty
Who do fish pray to?
The Cod Almighty
Why did the fish blush?
Because he saw the boats bottom
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can’t walk
What’s a great family fish game?
Salmon says
What do you call a fake koi fish?
A de koi
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Nothing – fish can’t talk
Where do fish store important documents?
In a reef case
What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder?
Halibut we chat about it
Why should you never fight an octopus?
Because he’s too well armed
What did the fish say when it was acquitted?
I’m off the hook
Did you hear about the crab who went to the seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel
Why did the fish get a detention?
Because he was being too shellfish
What does fish do in a crisis?
They sea kelp
What type of instrument do fish love to play?
A bass drum
What does a fish wear to keep warm?
A shoal
Did you hear about the fight in that restaurant?
The fish were battered
Why are fish so lucky?
They seize every oppor-tuna-ty
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish?
One is a scum-sucking scavenger; the other is just a fish
Why don’t fish go into business together?
They are always sole traders
Why did the vegan go deep sea fishing?
Just for the halibut
Where do sick fish go?
To see a sturgeon
Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale
Which fish go to heaven?
Angelfish
What do stoner fish smoke?
Sea-weed
What sunglasses do fish wears?
Ray Bans
What seafood use saunas?
Steamed mussels
What made the fish blush?
It saw the oceans bottom
Why did the fish cross the road?
Pelican crossing
What did the fish say after its date?
Your plaice or mine
Why did the fish get in trouble in school?
Because he was talking on his shell phone
Why didn’t the fish pass their exams?
They worked below C-level
Where do fish keep their money?
In river banks
What type of music is best to listen to while fishing?
Something catchy
Why did the little boy not eat his sushi?
Because it looked too fishy
What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?
A loan shark
What are fishes favorite boy band?
The new squids on the block
Why is a fisherman so stingy?
Because his work made him sell-fish
What did the fish say when everyone left his party?
Tanks for coming
What does a kraken eat?
Fish and ships
Why do fish companies never work?
They always have to scale back
How do you tuna fish?
Adjust their scales
How do fish cook at their party?
On a BBQ gill
Did you sea how large the fish was?
The photo wasn’t to scale
What does the fish ride into war?
A fish tank
Why will fish never take responsibility?
Because it’s always salmon else’s fault
Did you try the new seafood restaurant?
I’m hooked
Have you ever seen a catfish?
No – no way to hold the rod
What do you call a messy fish?
A slobster
Fish favorite show?
Tuna half men
How do you keep fish from smelling?
Block its nose
Why did the fish start a charity?
He was reely good at findraising
Who got employee of the month at the fish balloon factory?
The blow fish
Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level
Created with the help of freshwatercentral and fishkeepingworld
